Wednesday, 5 August 2009

What I Did on my Holidays

Dear Readers,

I do like my new home, now that Female Food Providing Human and Lazy Male Sleeps Until Midday Human are letting me outside.

The world out there is good fun, but there's a lot of horrid wet stuff that I don't like. And all the juicy grass that I like to nibble (which really confuses the Humans) is right by the edge, so I have to lean right down.

I was exploring my floating cruise liner the other day, wandering nonchalently down the ledge-bit on the side, when I saw one of the massive big whitehissyflappythings that think they own the place. I hissed at it, it hissed back, and tried to peck me. Just as I was about to land a powerful blow with my nice sharp claws, a gust of wind caught the big black flappy canopy thing at the front of my liner, and it knocked me into the water.

Well! I was most aggreived. The humans jumped up and ran outside, but I just did a kittypaddle to the other end of the boat, climbed up the bank, and ran inside to shelter in my cosy place and dry myself off on LazyMaleHuman's clothes. FemaleHuman insisted that she swathe me in a big towel, but I was quite capable of cleaning myself. They've hung a mat off the side of the boat now, so I can get out more easily if I fall in again.

A couple of days later, I was chasing a tasty looking SmallFlappyFlyingThing, and it flew up by a big willow tree. Of course, I count Shere Kahn and several Tygers amongst my ancestry, and so using my superb sense of balance and control, I rushed up the tree after it.

Unfortunately, getting down was a lot harder, and I kind of got stuck the wrong side of a large branch. I miaowed a lot and eventually the Humans noticed. They tried to call me down, and MaleHuman got a ladder to help me get down. He helped me past the big branch but then I jumped off all by myself, just to show them that I'm perfectly independent and capable, thankyou very much, and that a wonder cat like myself doesn't need their help at all.

Anyway, MaleHuman is just coming back, so I'd better hide this magic box thing before he discovers I've used it.


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